Joe Dirts Poker Attitude

"It takes Chips not Brains to go all-in of which now you have neither"

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Tinkerbelle goes all in!

If you look closely at the picture below you may see an image of the Virgin Mary, or possibly an outline of Jesus, or better yet look even closer and you may see a royal flush. If you’re in the bb you may even see dollar signs. My advice would be to just limp in and eventually you will be able to read the word VISA. The picture is of a piece of a pigs ear that measures 7/8”x1" and is 1 ¼ of an inch from corner to corner, or about the size of one quarter of a playing card. Pig’s ears are commonly sold in pet stores as a dog’s chewable treat. Our pet has been eating them for years without ever having a problem.

As many of you know, Suz and I doubled up last week going from pet to pets. The new addition Tinkerbelle is pictured below in an earlier post. Get a read on those cute little eyes, who wouldn’t love a face like that, but who knows what hand she is really playing. I am currently working on getting a better read from my opponents but she fooled me big time… I figured I was shoving my way into guilt free poker for a long time. Hell I could of bought a Harley for the money I have in that little cutie pie.

The pic of the golden pig’s ear above was removed from Tinkerbelle’s throat yesterday. When attempting to take the small piece of pig’s ear away from her so that she would not choke on it she growled and like a donk swallowed it whole. This was followed by an episode of choking, my finger going down her throat in an attempt to remove it, vomiting up foamy white crap, another choking episode and additional projectile vomit all over Suz’s chest.

Next day the puppy was very sick and after looking at her gums which had turned gray we went online to investigate. The first article we found mentioned bloat and said to go to the vet immediately. We made a call to our local vet who said to take her to another vet as an emergency patient. We called that vet and they said to take her to yet another vet even farther away immediately. Long story short we had to drive an hour to get to the VCA Vet on the other side of town.

They checked her out and took x-rays (at a $140 a pop) and found something lodged in her esophagus which required removal or she would die (game over). That would require her to be placed under Anastasia, a tube put down her throat, followed by a scope sent down to find the foreign object. They found it and then sent another tube down with a clamp attached to pull it back out. The picture above is what was removed from Tinkerbelle’s throat.

Total Buyin, $1800. Then they had the gull to demand that we buy a special dog food for her at who knows how much per can. Kiss my what…..? Instead I stopped at the store on the way home to buy purple cool-aid to add the poison to that I plan on drinking when I get home

Suz leaves for Massachusetts on Friday so Joe Dirt and I are going to deep fry the new puppy and have our selves a feast of sorts. If only I was better at poker I would not worry about the $4,500.00 I have in this dog as of today. We have only had the dog a total of eleven days now, by her first birthday she could be worth well over a wsop buyin.

Let me see, if we breed her and she has one puppy like her mom had when she was born, depending on the sex of the puppy, male worth about 1k, female worth about 1.5K, it should only take her four years before I can see a profit. This dog is a donk. She is about as good a money maker as I am at poker, hence donk’s attract. I figured hell even though I paid $2500 for the dog she will make that money back after two litters. What a bad beat….Before everyone goes flying off the hammer, just know that I still love Tinkerbelle very much and will only hock/pimp her out should I ever need poker money

jd




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